Weight Training For the Rest of Us

I've tried training my weights. It's useless. First off, they never listen. Secondly, they tend to be quite cliquish and rude when in groups of three or more. Third, they can be quite stubborn, and often refuse to do as they are asked. Even when you turn the request into a command, often they just ignore you. And forget giving them treats for good behavior. It never works.

And so we begin, weight training for the rest of us. All kidding aside, it can be frustrating and intimidating to enter a weight room, surrounded by weights, beautiful people, and worst of all, gasp, horror of horrors, walls lined with mirrors.

It's enough to make any person new to weights cringe and retreat. So what is a normal person to do? By normal I mean someone who has a regular job and not four hours to devote to daily weight work. How about the rank and file group middle agers, who have discovered that turning forty does something terrible to the metabolism? I am writing for all the mothers out there, who have had one, two or, like me, eight children. Talk about metabolism killer. My youngest son recently celebrated his seventh birthday. The baby fat around my stomach and butt also celebrated by getting bigger. I didn't even eat the cake. Well, not the whole cake. So what are we, the working, middle aged, not magnificently beautiful, people supposed to do? Where does weight training begin?

As with any exercise program, first consult your doctor. If he falls on the floor laughing, don't take it personally. He was probably thinking of something else. If he gives you the go ahead, then go ahead. Train away, I say. But start easy. Do not commit yourself to 5:30 a.m. workouts, thinking that you will get them in early and beat the crowd. You will hit the snooze button and go back to sleep, get up, as usual at 6:45 (about twenty minutes too late to be early for work), then berate yourself for the rest of the day for your lack of self-control. By lunchtime you will curse the idea entirely, and have a big lunch, while feeling sorry for yourself. DON"T DO IT!!!!! If you were going to hit the gym at the ungodly hour of 5:30, you would already be doing that, and you would not be reading this. As I stated, the first step is to go easy. Try getting up a half an hour earlier than your usual time.

"What? Half an hour. I can't do anything in half an hour. I'll just be getting warmed up in half an hour," you say. Oh really? Is that so? Then why are you reading this? In a half an hour, you can do squats, lunges, push-ups, crunches, some more push-ups, and stretching. Wow. I'm tired just thinking about all that work. To begin, give yourself a reasonable goal, and be willing to make one reasonable adjustment to your schedule. I say get up half an hour early, because your children will never expect it. Before they have a chance to wake up demanding their frosted fruit loops, you will have already broken a sweat.  You can feel good about yourself, and get on with the rest of the day. You may even feel good enough to get everyone some healthy breakfast, and skip the sugar laden, nutrient lacking sorry excuse for a breakfast food that I usually feed my kids. 

If you don't own weights, don't use it as an excuse. Until you purchase your first dumbbells, your own body weight will do quite nicely. Weight bearing exercises abound, using just your body weight. Between sets of squats, lunges, etc.... you can add 100 jumping jacks (about one minute worth), this will boost your aerobic intake and make your workout even more effective. If you can't think of, or don't know what types of exercises you can do, look online. Various exercise magazines also offer home workout ideas. 

If you aren't too scared, you can always try yoga. Most mornings, I spend twenty or so minutes contorting myself into all kinds of crazy positions. Then, when I finally get off the bed, I'm warmed up for yoga. Actually, many poses require one to balance with the weight of the body on the arms. Yoga is also great for strengthening the core muscles. The greatest benefit of yoga lies in the mental state it usually puts me in. I start my morning thankful for the sun, for my kids, life in general. It is calming and centering. 

A simple pair of dumbbells provides many opportunities for exercise in the home. Weight training with as little as three or five pounds can tone underused muscles, and return some of the youthful vigor that our children have stolen. There are many simple routines, using dumbbells, which train the entire body, effectively, in about twenty minutes.

With this amount of exercise, don't expect to win the Mr. America, or Mrs. Universe. Be realistic in your expectations. And be kind to yourself. Did you do more today than yesterday? That in itself deserves praise. Keep moving, be consistent, and be kind to yourself. Feel better, just for today.

Namaste friends.